Undivided Divisions

I just woke up about an hour ago. Yes, in afternoon... So I crawl out of bed, come to the computer. (Yes, I'm very aware that I shouldn't be.) I check email then go to my favorite news website. AND, get hit by headlines of disaster after disaster. Sometimes, I really hate reading the news.

A bomb blew up somewhere, people died. Soldiers opened fire on civilians, people died. Every word I read leads me to draw the same conclusions.... People died.

Now, don't think this is some naive post that laments on how cruel the world is and why must people die. People die. It's only a matter sooner or later.

What this post is about is simply this. I read all the headlines and the only thoughts that go through my head are "I'm hungry. What should I eat later? How am I gonna complete this multimedia project? Why did I put so many layers in this flash file?" Well, that and a few others, anyway. Basically, I'm saying that I'm completely desensitized. In another place, at the very same time, someone is hurting over the loss of a love one of their livelihood. The lucky ones die as a family. If you can get into the mind of a survivor, you will know that the burden and guilt of a survivor is something no one should have to bear. Yet, they will.

I know all that. In my head, I know. But I don't feel for anyone. is it due to the overload of information? Bombarded by news of ongoings that I no longer know who to feel for? Is it because of my past studies and training? Looking at disasters as useful information for analysis on business undertakings? Is it because I'm not directly involved? Is it because we see so many disasters in movies that end happily? Are we running away from reality? Or do we just not know the severity of reality? It's probably all the above.

I'm pretty sure it's not just me. There are many out there would feel the same way or even more deeply then I.

But think about this. In this world where we can design anything, even our future children, you can design your life in such a way where you are the center of it all. Events outside of that illusionary bubble do not affect it and therefore, all is right with the world. How long until something comes along and bursts that bubble? If never, you're lucky. But one must realize. It's a bubble. It's bound to burst in the end.

One of my lecturers said something that I love so much and think it's really true. (Well, it's something to the effect, anyway.) If people spend more time fixing reality instead of escaping it, things can be like it is in those worlds they escape to.

I am desensitized. I admit it. Are you desensitized? Why?

You Are The Hanging Man

You represent the seeking of enlightenment and spiritual clarity. You tend to confuse others, but your oddities seem deeply satisfying. Self sacrifice is easy for you, especially if it makes you a better person in the end. You are the type of person who is very in touch with your soul and inner spirit. Your fortune: Right now is a good time for reflection and meditation. You should stop resisting the problems in your life, and let yourself be vulnerable to them. You may need to sacrifice something important to you to move ahead in your life. Accept your destiny with courage, and learn to let go of what you think you need.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You Are The Chariot

You represent a difficult battle, and a well-deserved victory. You tend to struggle to get what you want, both internally and externally. You excel at controlling opposing forces, getting down the same path. In the end, you bring glory and success - using pure will to move forward. Your fortune: There is great conflict in your life right now, either with yourself or others. You must find a solution to this conflict, which is likely to be a "middle road" between the two forces. You posses the skills to triumph over these struggles, as long as your will is strong. You are transforming your inner self, building a better foundation for future successes.

Why are they different? I used the 2 names that people know me most commonly by

You Are Scary

You even scare scary people sometimes!

Currently extremely unstable.

In light of recent developements, I feel it's more necessary then ever for my online persona and my personal life to separate. The less that's known of me the better. Those that already know both, I hope you don't let me down. Those that know me personally, please. If online, don't use my name anymore, use my alias. It will be inevitable that some of my close friends will be unable to see my personal entries unless they are members of this blog... But I'm going to switch to a friends only mode in this livejournal.

WTF... I just tried to log on to blogspot and found out by logging in with the wrong user name that I had an old account created in 2004 March...

I obtained this from someone...

( The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord )